Dear God.......

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, But seldom, if ever, smell each other ?

Dear God:  When we get to Heaven, can we sit ON your couch?  Or will it be the same old story?

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog?  How often do you see a cougar riding around? We LOVE a nice car Ride!  Would it be so hard to rename the "French Bugatti" the "French Bulldog"?

Dear God:  If a dog barks his Cowboy head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Bad Dog ?

Dear God:  We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee Flight Paths.     What do Humans understand ?

Dear God:  More meatballs ...  Less cereal ...  PLEASE

Dear God:  Here is a list of just Some of the things I must remember, to be a Good Dog:

1 ~ I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it, or after he throws it up.

2 ~ I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, frogs, lizards, etc, just because I like the way they smell.

3 ~ The sofa is not a "face towel".

4 ~ The garbage man is not stealing our stuff.

5 ~ I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear, when he is on the toilet.

6 ~ Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way to say "hello".

7 ~ I must shake the rainwater off my body BEFORE jumping up on Mommie's bed.

8 ~ I will not pee behind the couch, when no-one's looking.

9 ~ I will not chew on the electric cords, and I will STOP playing with the chanel changer.

10 ~ The mailman is NOT the enemy.

I promise I will try really hard....   but, when I get to heaven....  can I have my testicles back ?